Who was the last person you spoke with?

The last person, I spoke to was actually a whole family. There is a Korean family that I have become friends with and visit their home to help their son with his English studies. They took me out to dinner tonight to show me some traditional Korean food and culture, and to share their appreciation for my relationship with their son, Mikey. He is a great kid and he reminds me of myself when I was his age. He will not go down the same road as me as he gets older. He has a family and environment that supports him and his way of being.

We had a wonderful meal, warm, friendly conversation and shared laughter and cultural exchange. On the way home, the mom said, "I feel very comfortable with you Michael". It meant a lot to me. They are good folks and I enjoy and respect them all. It is interesting to me how sometimes we have to go 8,000 miles from our home to find where we belong.

I am glad the last folks that i spoke to were such incredible people that i think so highly of and had the opportunity to share time, a meal and conversation with them.

YAY for good people!

August Nights In Cheonan

It is a cool night for August in Cheonan. The humidity is still present, I can tell by the moisture in my apartment from the shirts, socks, underwear and slacks hanging to dry. We have not had many nights like this in the five weeks I have been here. I take advantage of the break in the heat and venture out for an evening walk with a stomach full of tofu, potatoes and carrots sautéed over green cabbage and a large fresh vegetables salad with sunflower seeds on top. The oil and vinegar dressing I made reminds of home, my mother.

I walk out the front door of the Darae House where I live across the stone and cement walkway to the street cattycornered from the Blue Café still trying to seduce me in its doors unsuccessfully. I pass the Cozy Café again peering in and wondering if it is really a café, or is it another code word for bar. Everything else on Ssang-yongdong gil is restaurants with Korean names I cannot yet understand but can read without any comprehension. I turn right up the slight incline to the main street in the Ssang-yongdong neighborhood before I get to the Police station with policemen always outside smoking cigarettes, since they seem to have little else to do. I have been here five weeks and have not seen or heard anything producing evidence of crime in this mid-sized city of a half million people. Next to the station is a lighted park with some cement seats and a basketball court with teenage boys shooting hoops. A boy of about 6’2” is playing against two boys and beating them badly, he has skills and knows it. I cross the street and see many families and young people playing soccer, basketball, badminton and just hanging around the dirt and gravel lot of Cheonanyoungam elementary school where I am a teacher. I smile knowing that fun, family and community continue there long after I go home. I like this school and the family-based feeling it manifests. I continue around the corner to an area of the neighborhood I have not ventured to yet except by #14 bus to downtown Cheonan.

They have nice wide sidewalks made for comfortable walking for families and relaxation. Koreans love to enjoy a casual walk after dinner till late at night. They are out most nights as individuals with iPods, couples holding hands, teens walking home from English academies and families being families. I notice the soft, gentle pace of all the walkers, none have on designated walking outfits, none are with equipment to lose weight, and none are running in tight Lycra displaying their bodies. They are walking for walking sake. They look happy with smiles on their faces evidencing the simplicity of an activity of peace, community and health. It is refreshing walking on these rose, yellow and green tiled cement walkways without observing people jogging in complete misery desperate to lose another three pounds. No misery walking in Korea. Walking is for health, not appearance.

After a mile or so, I mean about fifteen hundred kilometers, (I couldn’t resist); I walk up an incline to little park with benchs and a center resting area. I sit and stare at the clouds hovering above; they are white, soft and mostly still. The gentle breeze is not enough to get them moving, so I can see and take time to watch. A young girl of about eight or nine runs up the hill excited, quickly looks at me and sits across from me to look at the foreigner. She is careful to not be rude- her glances are brief and non-direct. Since she is young, I know she can speak some English, I assume that is why she is here in the first place. Young kids love to practice their limited English on foreigners.

I say, “Hello”.
She smiles, containing her excitement and replies, “Hi!” She looks away to not seem eager or disrespectful to an adult, especially a foreigner. A moment later, she gets up, says, “Good-bye”, glances at me briefly and runs down the hill and across the thin side street. She is back a few minutes later while I am still staring and appreciating the clouds and the trees. I say, “Hello” again to make her feel welcome. Kids here cannot wait to say “Hello” to anyone who will let them. I am a willing participant at any opportunity I can get. Who would not want to be the focus of these beautiful, excited smiles?
I get up to leave, and say “Good-bye” again.
She says, “Bye Bye”.
I ask, “How are you?”
“I am fine” she responds in perfect English as if she has done so every day of her life.
“Nice to meet you” I say knowing they are all taught to say this.
“Nice to meet you too.” She bows, as do I. I walk away smiling from ear to ear, she is beaming next to her little brother.

The walk back to my space is full of breathing in the night air, noticing young kids out walking, talking and riding bikes after ten at night and feeling Blessed to be here in Korea. I reflect for a moment on how I will ever be able to return to a land without bowing, casual walking, friendliness, cops too bored to do anything but smoke cigarettes and families enjoying the night without regard for the hour embracing now and this moment. I have a flinch of shame over how many nights I have been too lazy or distracted to make my evening walk here in Cheonan to remember life and why it is so special. I stop at Tous les Jous and buy their last baguette for the night for the equivalent of $1.50. I walk with it in my right hand past folks sitting on the floor of the restaurant on my right just before I turn towards my street. Again, I peer in the windows of the Cozy Café without discerning any more than the other ten times I have tried and failed. This was a great walk. I walk up the steps to the second floor, entering my apartment and clothes hanging on my hand made indoor clothesline. It is good to be home and actually have a home.

A Korean Resaurant

“Annyeong-haseyo”

You will always hear this when you enter a Korean restaurant. It is the greeting for Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, and they mean it. They will shout this out from the kitchen if they hear somebody enter. There is not a clinical or air of western austerity, just a warm welcome, a bow and a tray with little metal cups and a 1 liter glass bottle of water from the tap you can pour yourself at your leisure. Often the cook, host, owner and wait staff is all the same person.

If you choose a traditional restaurant, you will see a rack at the door when you enter to take your shoes off before entering the dining room. There will be a slight elevation to distinguish the entrance for the dining room; they don’t waste space on hallways and things like that, everything is used. Some nicer restaurants will have slippers for you to wear while dining, if not bare feet or socks will do fine. Traditional seating is on the floor, again, nicer places will offer you flat cushions to sit on if you desire. It is fun seeing mothers with children and businesspeople dressed professional all seated on the floor enjoying their meals.

The utensils, metal chopsticks and a soup spoons, are typically in a little box with a clear glass lid where you can take your eating utensils for yourself, along with a napkin holder with napkins that resemble tissues more than napkins in their thickness and size, nothing is wasted. The floor typically will have a thin piled rug for each table and a real wooden table in a rectangular shape. It is not unusual for strangers to share the same table, nothing is wasted and everybody is family.

If you do not speak or read HanGul, ordering can be tricky, even traumatic at times. If you stare and look stupid long enough they will just bring you something traditional and smile warmly. They know foreigners do not typically eat food as spicy as theirs, so they will bring you a milder dish. There is no judgment for foreigners lack of knowledge, they feel worse about it than the customer because they really want you to feel comfortable and at home. Quickly they will scurry away to bring the order to the kitchen and return with another tray full of “side dishes” that are to be shared by everyone directly from the dishes they come in. There are no separate plates/bowls for each person with the exception of receiving a small cup of a broth-like soup similar to Miso soup to cleanse the palette before the meal, nothing is wasted. It is fun to share food; it breeds warmth, conversation and closeness while enjoying the meal. The side dishes typically will include a small dish of Kimchi and another small dish of pickled yellow radish sliced thinly, those are the two most common. You may also find various forms of cooked greens with sesame or some other delicious sauce; small strips of seasoned pork, a flavored ground and textured bean paste or substance, or other pickled vegetables. It all comes free with your meal, as does the broth-like soup. While you are picking on the side dishes, your main meal will be served. Most meals are made to be eaten individually but some are for more than one person and to be shared like all the other foods on the table. If you are struggling with chopsticks, they gladly will bring you a fork without laughing or being insulted, they understand and accept differences. Most meals come with a small bowl of rice in a metal bowl with a metal lid that can be taking on and off to keep the rice warm, or noodles. There are rarely breads with a meal. One of the most enjoyable features of Korean food is that meals have compatible foods that go with each other for taste, digestion and nutrition, all is on balance with each other. The exception is the Korean versions of fast food like fried or BBQ chicken. Most meals are based with a sauce of either red pepper, which is very spicy and hot, or a bean paste, except for meals that are stews, which can be anything that tastes and belongs together. The juicy stews are such good meals and you will never leave without being full and satisfied with your body happy and smiling.

One area where my ego is out of balance is related to the consumption of food, specifically, quantity. I have always eaten more than small families and when I was younger I thought that was something to be proud of like drinking more beer than others, which I also did as well when younger. Korean meals are made to leave you feeling full and satisfied. They are not based on leaving you still unsatiated so you will order desert, they want you pleased and full. It is very difficult to finish all the food on the table, very difficult. It is expected you will leave some of your side dishes or rice uneaten, it is not considered offensive to the cook, they want you to be full and complete when you leave. Many restaurants will offer you a small cup of green tea or coffee flavored like some kind of latte-type thing for free when you are done.

At most local neighborhood establishments, you will eat all that I mentioned made to perfection for the equivalent of between $4-7, yes, you read that correctly, less than eight dollars is the typical meal outside of Seoul, and not much more in Seoul. They do not change the prices or quantities for lunch and dinner; you get the same good value and quantity every time you eat. One other thing, they do not change their menus often and typically only have one or two “specials” which are not really specials since they are part of the printed menu on the wall. Special means a little bit more expensive, like the equivalent of two dollars and includes more ingredients.

As someone who has been a professional cook and finds cooking to be one of my favorite activities, it is hard to choose not to go out to eat, since it is such good food, warm atmosphere and cheaper than preparing your own meals. Like if McDonalds starting making real food by real people that was healthier than what you can make at home but in a delightful atmosphere. Hard to get motivated to go to the store and put together a meal when you can walk a block in any direction and have ten choices to eat, much like most NYC neighborhoods but cheaper than home, better quality and taste. There is no tipping as an added charge, and they include taxes in the price of the meal. It really costs what it says it costs. They don’t need a tip to serve you well; they do it because that is what you do here. If all else sucked for me in Korea, which is doesn’t, I would stay here for the food till I learned how to make all the dishes traditionally. The food and atmosphere is worth the trip all by itself.

On the way out, “Anyeonghi-gaseo” goodbye, and another bow while you are putting your shoes back on your feet smiling from a great meal and good people. Welcome to Korea.

Couch Surfing In South Korea

One of the most positive and fruitful experiences I have had on the Internet was finding out about and becoming an active member of The CouchSurfing Project.

The CouchSurfing Project is a non-profit organization that has grown to over 675,000 members hosting each other throughout the world when traveling. Members of the community will host you in their homes for no charge and welcome you to your current destination. “Surfers”, the name for those whom are traveling, may find themselves sleeping on a big bed in a private room, or an office with a fold-up cot, a library with a futon, a living room with a couch and sometimes even an air mattress or the floor of a den. The hosts profile will describe exactly what they can offer you, so you know in advance what to expect of and if the accommodations are acceptable to your needs. Most of the Couchsurfers homes I have stayed in have welcomed and offered me to eat or use whatever I need in their space, others express clearly what they are or not comfortable with.

There are some community members who may not be able to or willing offer housing, but do offer to meet for a coffee or drink, and help you feel welcome and safe on the road. This is also a very positive experience for those who want to support travelers but, are not in a position to offer their homes. The sense of meeting community members while traveling is very comforting when traveling to a place I have not been before. Often they will help you find places or services you are looking for and/or show you around to the sights and experiences that a travel guide may not know about or be able to provide for you.

The relationships that I have established that were born through my CouchSurfing experiences are ones I will maintain for as long as possible. I have met and interacted with some quite amazing people and we shared our lives, pain and joys with each other- to me, that is the foundation of community; a rare commodity while traveling.

Since landing in South Korea, I have sent emails to meet other CouchSurfers locally. They have been both native Koreans and folks living here from elsewhere. I am glad to say that the small but motivated CouchSurfing community here in South Korea is thriving and alive. If you are looking to visit or move to South Korea and want to become part of a community of folks trying to bring the world a little closer and safer together, I invite you to explore and become a member of The CouchSurfing Project. The web address is http://www.couchsurfing.com

If you want any help with or someone to connect with, my username is michaelsits. I encourage you to contact me if you feel moved, and Happy Surfing!