Hope is in The Eyes

Eyes. Eyes are where I see hope and inspiration. Words often feel like a bridge but not the actual thing itself. Eyes tell the true story for me.

Lately I have had the opportunity to stare into the eyes of many young and beautiful children that can't communicate beyond "Hello" and "Goodbye" with me due to language barriers. It is such a powerful experience to share love, gratitude and connection through eye contact, bowing and holding hands or hugging. It really shreds away all the other stuff that often gets in the way.

Soft eyes that are not filled with propaganda and the illusion of needing more and better also have inspired me lately. The bulk of the youth here in South Korea are wholesome, even innocent in many ways. It is not as much that they are naive; it is more actual wholesome instincts that are cultivated through their families, communities, schools and culture as a whole. They would rather be hugged, smile and laugh than be cool, tough and walk around pouting to get their way. They genuinely want to be happy and share it with others. If I was a better author, I would be able to describe it more accurately. They are trusted and respected, and honor that respect with respecting others and trusting others.

An example would be that in a city of half million that I live in, all the florists in the neighborhood leave their most expensive plants out at night without locks and security. Kids are out till 10:00, 11:00 at night without supervision and nobody stares at them like they are bad and ready to do something wrong, and they don't. Young children below ten years old are out at night walking around, playing and running errands for their parents. Teenage girls walk home from their English, science and math academies after ten at night by themselves without fear and paranoia in their eyes. I have eaten in restaurants that the owner and only employee leave while you are eating to make a delivery without fear of being robbed or anything, they just smile on their way out and do their thing. You are respected regardless of who you are.

This all gives me hope. There is another way besides fear, power, sex and personal ambition. This gives me hope.

As a side note, not necessarily for his stance on issues or the fact that he is Black, but Obama gives me hope as well.

Peace and Hope,
michael

moms and little custodians

As I walk down the stairs from the third floor to the first, I am struck with seeing something I have not seen before in a public school, kids with mops and brooms cleaning the steps. Little elementary school kids laughing and playing while cleaning and washing the steps. Humm. Interesting, I think to myself.

One day later, I go down these same steps again to the cafeteria to enjoy some nice fresh squid soup with rice and a side menu that includes Kimchi, sesame greens and fresh dark purple seedless grapes. But there they are again, but today, it is three girls instead of three boys laughing and playing while sweeping and washing the steps. I wonder what they did to get in trouble, they all look so wholesome and their eyes are so clear and true?

Two months later I can answer that question: nothing. In Korea, there are no staffs of custodians that come around and clean up the messes the kids make all day. There is an overnight watchman who does a little but the custodians are the students themselves with some mothers volunteering every now and then. The kids clean and wash the bathroom floors after school. They sweep around the desks in the classrooms. They wash the windows on the outside doors. They really do everything but clean the toilets themselves. The interesting part about this is they have fun doing it. It is not a scene filled with moaning and groaning kids that make things dirtier just to never get asked to do it again. They laugh and play and giggle the whole time. I have not seen a miserable kid while cleaning yet. That doesn’t mean they want to do it or even enjoy doing it. It just means they have fun since they have to do it anyway. There are certainly areas of the school I work in that are not as clean as the staff of six custodians at the school I used to work at in Wisconsin. But does it really matter?

These kids are participating in a meaningful way and take responsibility for their school along the way. It is not surprising at all that they do not make as much mess of the school since they clean it. Go figure? I have reflected on whether it is this way out for economic reasons or for keeping things family-like and teaching valuable lessons during the experience? They don’t wear shoes in public schools like home. They eat delicious well-balanced meals like they do at home. Why not participate in the upkeep of the school like I imagine they do at home? It would seem to be a logical choice for a school principle to make. So the bathrooms are clean but don’t sparkle. The floors don’t shine and the windows have some streaks. This seems to be small price to pay for youth learning that part of life is cleaning up and doing your part. Kids here are not treated as helpless beings that need their mommies and daddies to take care of them and wait on them 24/7. They are little real people. My gut tells me it used to be this way in other parts of the world not too fat back in our shared history. I wonder why we abandoned this way of life? Why do we expect so little from children? Is making their bed and brushing their teeth really all they are capable of? Evidence here says differently. Is this just another consequence of affluence? Kids are so accustomed to everybody doing everything for them that they become the helpless little creatures we treat them as?

Maybe one of theses days I’ll pick up that mop and do my part. Probably not tomorrow.

Please Leave your Shoes at the Door

I enter the door of Cheonanyoungam elementary school for the first time after sleeping just a few hours from my journey that lasted more than twenty-four hours. I am exhausted and anxious about the new opportunity that awaits me on the other side of the double glass doors to this large brick building an entire block long. Just three steps in and my new manager stops me and points to my shoes. Then directs me to the cubbyholes where the slippers for guests are kept and instructs me to take mine off and replace them with the slippers that have Korean writing along the top. I internally smirk at the idea that I brought with me a good pair of shoes just to be professional at work and I will never where them in the building during my one year commitment here as an esl teacher.

For many years, I have practiced the Buddhist tradition of taking off footwear before entering the home. The physical and mental decision to leave the outside world outside has been valuable and supportive to me in my spiritual development. During my two weeks of notice before coming to Korea, I had forgotten that detail and was not aware that in Korea, public schools are treated like homes and no shoes are worn in the building.

As cumbersome as it can be when leaving for lunch or something to switch back and forth between shoes and slippers, I enjoy working in slippers. I like teaching in slippers and the feeling of warmth and family that it creates. Besides, they are much more comfortable and relaxing to stand all day teaching. I bought my own pair to keep at the school and the vice-principal who is very worried how a man who is single will survive alone in Korea has given me my very own cubbyhole near the middle entrance to keep my slippers in.

When parents or even construction-type workers enter the building, they either bring their own slippers or wear the guest pairs available to anyone. It brings me great joy to see men gutting and putting together the two new computer rooms and the new English teachers office in a form of slippers. Quite different than the heavy work boots that men wear when working in the USA. It reminds me of a piece on 60 Minutes I watched five years ago after a football game about mowing the lawn and gender. The reporter explained how men wear heavy work boots when mowing the lawn with clothes built for protection from something dangerous. He then showed brief videos of women mowing the lawn in pretty sundresses and sandals with summer hats and fashionable sunglasses. His point was that men see any kind if outdoor work as an expression of their manhood and women try to find a way to enjoy experiences when possible (and get a “tan”) and see no reason to put on their “battle fatigues” to mow the lawn. This is the image I maintain in my head about the contrast of intention and mentality of men that are Korean and American. One is proving the size of his penis while the other is proving that being a man includes caring about children and the sense of home.

This is one of the ways that Koreans make schools feel like an extension of home to children. There is no feeling if sterility, austerity or power from the teachers to the students. The kids offer too much respect for that to happen, even if a teacher thought that it might be helpful. Kids do not give teachers the finger, curse at them, sit in the back of the class with hands folded sulking or storm out of the room dramatically. A child would not do this because it is not what you do to teachers AND it would be embarrassing to act that way in front of your friends. It would demonstrate traits that children do not appreciate, so to act that way would cause them to be friendless and lose respect from their teacher and parents. Here, losing respect is a big deal and something that children work very hard to avoid. They want to be thought of as smart, hard working and caring, anything less is a reason for a child to cry out of internal shame.

I enjoy living and working in a land where slippers are worn in homes and schools, and a sense of home is more important than a sense of self-importance among principals, teachers, parents and kids.