My First Korean Language Lesson

I was a little nervous meeting with my co-teacher’s sister for the first time. Actually, I was nervous about her meeting with me for the first time. My co-teacher, Miji, in English, Ashley, has told me that her sister is “scary” (scared) about meeting me since she is shy about speaking in English to foreigners. I was conscious of bringing out my gentle self, not the bulldog that typically steps, rolls and tramples over everything in its path.

“Hello Michael, This is my sister Christina.” Looks at sister with excitement, “This is Michael.”

“Hi Christina, what a nice name!”

“Oh, uh, Hi.”

That was out beginning. I did not expect much more based on the foreshadowing by said sister. We hemmed and hawed about where to sit and talk and ended up at the KTX high-speed train station about two kilometers away for reasons I am not sure I could find a way to make sense of in written word. We sat down in the Dunkin Donuts in the far left corner away from all other humans. I let her choose the table and seating arrangements to support her lack of comfort. I sipped on my mocha latte and she sipped on whatever hot coffee beverage she ordered plus the green tea rice cake that was brought to the table about three minutes of anxious non-conversation later. I think to myself, OK if this is going to happen, I need to take the leap and just start asking her questions. I wanted to offer her the opportunity to demonstrate to herself she can do the language sharing that her sister set up for us. Her sister was sitting at a nearby table with one of our professional co-workers Sam to provide adult supervision to the scared little children, Michael and Christina.. Where to start, Oh! I can use help with pronunciation of HanGul. This will give her some footing and me a chance to correct my bad use of the language before I create habits.

We went through the Korean alphabet and she was very patient and firm in her attempt to provide me with quality Korean accents, a good thing since Koreans are not used to foreigners speaking their language and have not developed skills in deciphering incorrect pronunciation the way native English speakers have needed to. Often when I pronounce a word with my American accent in HanGul, I receive a blank stare with no response to provide me with a drip of confidence to move forward and try again. They just do not have enough opportunities to discern the difference in speech to make up for my mistakes. It is my problem not theirs and grateful my language exchange partner is motivated to support me learning the correct way and not just a close facsimile. Often language is drastically different than horseshoes and hand grenades, close has no value. The difference between rust and lust are drastic but sound the same to an Asian native.

Example: ‘I am feeling lust’, to be mistaken as ‘I am feeling rust’ on a first date would make things go much differently. Or, ‘Look at the horse’ is much different than ‘Look at the whores’.

So we went through the alphabet and then tackled some basic words like hello and goodbye, which I already knew but did not want to break her rhythm. Then we moved to phrases like “I am leaving” and “I am sorry”, and the ever important for a teacher in an elementary school, “Please leave”.

Without her noticing, we slid into some English basics even though she has a large English vocabulary but cannot speak much. She is a college professor and reads English textbooks but has no one to speak it with but her sister. Her being the older sister, she is not going to learn English from Miji. She warmed and we had fun. I showed her how to let an English native know you don’t understand what they are saying in both casual and formal conversation. Things I never thought about previously.

Example: In conversation with an Englishman on a train in Seoul she could say, “I do not understand what you said.” But, speaking to the CEO of Marriot Hotels, she is a hotel management professor, she may say something like, “I am sorry, can you please repeat that slowly. I didn’t understand everything you said.”

We shared our cell phone numbers and made some arrangements for next Thursday night. She even leaned forward a few times and without realizing, she was getting comfortable with me and our exchange. She is a kind, intelligent and patient woman- the perfect person to teach me HanGul and to share what I can to help her in her dealings with native English speakers confidently. I am excited to meet with her again, learn a little more HanGul and make a new friend. As has been my experience previously, most exchanges and transactions happen on many levels, I see the possibilities of continuing that trend with my new language partner Christina.

ka yo. (I am leaving now.)